а

аааааааааааааа Boomerang.

38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Luke chapter 6

 

Meeting after 2-3 week break.

- Where have you been? How are you?

- Mum has got in hospital. I looked after her. It was insult.

- From what itа was so suddenly? She is still young for an insult.

- Yes, you are right. Now sheа speaks: ╗ the God has punished me╗. Several months ago we have borrowed from neighbours 100 dollars for percent. And they have then asked their money back. Mum has gone, has given money and, approaching to their house, has wished: ╗ i wish you had left this money for medicines! ╗ Soon she was tortured with pressure. It was necessary to lay her in hospital. Medicines, doctors. It was necessary to take again in a duty. At last we spent 200 lari for her treatment.

It is surprising, that precisely such sum as she has wishedа for others, was spent on her treatment.

ааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааа 12.12.2001

Even saintsа were not free from consequences of own mistakes.

In life аst.Pimen Palestinian ( 9 September) it is possible to read the following...

... He lived in 6 century in a cave of desert Ruva.

Once in the winter monk Agafonic has come for studing toа him and has remained to spend the night in the next cave. In the morning he has told to st Pimen, thatа he sufferedа at night from an icy cold very much. Old monk has answered, that was nude, but did not feel a cold becauseа thereа a lion has comeа and laid beside and warmed him. ╗ However, - the devotee has added, - know, that I shall be eaten with animals because when I lived in the country and was the shepherd of sheeps, there one man passedа by my herd;а my dogs rushed and killed him. I could rescue him, but I have not made it. To me it was open, that I shall die such death. ╗

And it happened; after three years it became known, that saint Pimen Palestinian was killed by wild animals.

......................................................................

9.10.2005. The today's meeting became addition on this theme.

.... Conversation turned around and about how much must pay for new-born child in hospital.

-... In city should be though one free-of-charge hospital, - the husband proved to the wife, (he recently has returned home from Russia).

- No, you understand,а there are not present free-of-charge, - his pregnant wife explained him, - 2 years ago one case аhas taken place. One taxi driver the kurd has seen in the street the boy who is bleeding profusely, and has brought him in п hospital N 9. Nurses did not want even to acceptа this boy. They were going around аand doing nothing. The doctor also does not think to approachа to him. What,а he speaks, the sense to perform operation.а If he die, who will pay to me then? And the doctor was sittingа inа his cabinet, does not go down.

- And why nurses could not stop blood? - asked the husbandа without not coming off from the blue screen of TV.

- No they could not, - continuesа teller.-then the kurd has taken off a gold circuit with a cross and speaks: ╗а Are you people or not? Here you are! Let the surgeon will come! ╗

While the doctor has gone down, the boy has died from loss of blood. When the doctorа has bent down to him andа peered - he has learned his own son....

- Everythingа happens, - the televiewerаа said without movement.

-

.ааааааа

ааааа ааShe could not push away.

а29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find est unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew chapter 11

 

аааааааа In the middle of a small room the woman with the quiet pacified person in the unique target dress laid inа the coffin. Women sitting around silently whispered, noding at her: | " As though smiles poor Olga! ╗

аThe swarty blackhaired boy ofа 16 yearsаа was sittingа at the coffin, having clasped hands a head, with an anguish mourned over her in Georgian:

а л Mum, mummy why have you left me? ╗..аа

At this age the man should standа and accept condolences, not showing his feelings. But Shako cried and did not hesitate neither the tears, nor girlfriends of her mother

Women continually sobred: л Poor Olga, how early youа have come! ╗. 53 years it is notа the age. Any human can live many years.

аI have recollected our conversation one year ago . We sat in a teacher's room, filled in magazine. I do not remember why suddenlyа Mrs.Olga began to tell me something like this.

- I know, soon I shall die, - she has told, thoughtfully looking before herself. To listen to it from the blossoming woman was very strange. л Yes, yes - she has repeated, blocking my objections, - it will be so! I saw dream about 2 years ago. As if someone has flied from the sky and madeа on my finger violently 3 cuts. At firstа I thoughtа it meantа 3 days or 3 months. But 3а days and 3 months have passed. Now I understand, it meant three years.Early I asked the God to give me timeа somehow to put my son on legs. Now I see, that he has really changed. Itа means, my time is close,-а and she has broken off.

аAll at our work knew, that Shako was not her real son. Evereone, exceptа him. Shako, theа unbalanced boy, was a walking pain of this silent, imperceptible woman.

- Heа was a very difficult child!-she has told, waveing her head, having covered eyes . - Very difficult! And in general I wanted the girl. It is easier to bring up the girl. When I and my husband have understood, thatаа we will notа have any children (I have late married) began to go on children's homes, to look for the child. I wanted the light, blue-eyed girl that it was similar to us.а One day we have arrived to one children's home in Azerbaijan, and looked at children. Nobody was like that we searched. We were going to go away already. And suddenly the three-year boy has run up to me behind,а ( he wasа as black as a cockroach), has clasped me for legs andа told: " Mum ". I have begun to cry and could not pushа him away.So we have taken him. It is visible the Godа wanted so.- she sighs deeply. -а We have brought him home. Here it was found out, that he completely unguided.а Neither words, nor arrangementsа operated nothing. I thought, that I аam not able to bring up. Even I have turned grey ahead of time Е. Now, I recollect and I am surprised, as I have sustained all this Е At schoolа he studied very badly.He wasа absent-minded, festless, he could not sit on one place Е I always prayed about him to be changed Е Thoughа I do not know how to pray correctly, аsometimes Iа lit candles in church. He became more silent, has finished 8 classes. i want him to have any speciality. Because soon I will not be hereЕ - she has again broken off, leaving in her ideas.

а I again see myself in a close room. The icon lamp burning in bank from under mayonnaise flickers at a coffin. Shako ааtalks to mumа without stopping.

-.. Mum, lovely, anybody will not replace you for me.

а We, wiping eyes with scarfsа exchange words in half-voices: л Now in fact Shako has matured, became serious. He has takenа his mother"s heart and her character.Poor Olga even has not had time plainly to be glad.

ааа Beside doors her husbandа is standing silently, looks аbefore himself. We khew, that he bahaved badly with her.

аа - ...My son Shako does not get on with the father, -а Mrs. Olga sighs. - I suffer for аit very much, butа I can do nothing, I try to smooth sharp corners.. My boy is as gunpowder,he does not like Injustice. And I do not love scandals.

I worry about Shako goes to baptists.On the one hand it is good: he does not drink, does not smoke, does not use bad language as our other boys in the yard. But my soul is not quiet. They are not Orthodox .Though I seldom go to church and I do not know all orthodox rules but I understand, that the church is absolutely another. I don"t know howа to overpersuadeа him. л Mum, - he speaks, - Iа do not do anything bad ╗ Nevertheless somehow is not that, - sighs she sadly, - Recently heа brought home the portion ofа rice, and he was very pleased: ╗а It is my ration ╗. Е How ridiculous he is! - and Olga laughs silently.- Shako knows, thatа our ordinary life is difficult .Only I work, my husband is unemployed andа my mother-in-law is veryа ill, she does not get up from her bed. Iа look after her. I pray notа to dieа before her. My son and husband will suffer with her without me Е

ааа She has gone through the mother-in-law on 40 days or hardly more. She went to work till last week. We noticed, that she is languid, butа no more. Then she coud not go any more.The doctor examined her and he has waved with his hand: л It isа Started cancer. Why have notа you brought her earlier? "...

... The boy at a coffin looks, having stared at fire of the candle . The elderly woman in black dress, Olga"s sister, has approachedа to the coffinа and began to cry.

Е.. You,а my poor sister knew, what you had.аа You did not want to disturb anybody...а You were going to work with an open wound in breasts.а You carried cotton wool in the bag Е Now you are resting...

а Girlfriends whispered.

- Godа has regretted Olga. Whenа people have cancerа they areа so tormented,а but she shouted only last night Е.

аа Thenа women came to the husband and the son to say goodbye Е

Е. In 1995 our school has disbanded, all teachers have gone away who whereа couldЕ Sometimes former colleagues will meet in the street or on whose requiem, will moan about oldа good time andа will recollect poor Olga Е

ЕThey said there is no city without three rithteous persons. Probably, I could see one of them Е.

аааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааа 2.01.2002

аааааа

The false passport.

аааааааа 26 Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.

Matthew chapter 10

 

аааа - ...Recently familiar woman whoа works in police department has told a history to me, whichа took placeа one year ago.- said my relative Lidia.

аааааааа - Oneа day "the newаа Georgian" and has come to her and asks: "Please, make me the new passport. How much it is necessary, I shall pay. Thinkа any surname. I should leave to Russia for ever. "

ааааааааа She knew this person for a long time and without inquiries has understood: the new passport is necessary for him in order to not to pay the alimony toа his two children. Knowing, that there is no anything criminal with him, this woman has agreed. It was necessary to choose only new surname. She thoughtа about it for a long time, touching inа her mind every possible variants. Unexpectedly inа her consciousness has emerged a name, patronymic and surname, which combination seemed to her unique correct and suitable. And she has issued documents at once. To the businessmanа it was all the same, he paid as they have agreed, andа he has goneа with this passport to do new driver"s licence.

ааааааааа Soon heа has finished all affairs in Tbilisi and has gone by the car to Russia. Already behind territory of Georgiaа he was stoppedа by Russian police.а Heа shows documents and suddenly the officer says: " You are arrested ". In police cort they have declared: " You are in the All-Russia search, the thief - recidivist whoа ran away fromа prison.You have made some room thefts. "

аааа It appears, his new surname and appearance completely coincide with the known criminal. It was found out, that they are similar against each other as two twins.The businessman had heart attack from a nervous shock. He has been sent in prison hospital. Then with the many difficulties it was possible to prove his innocence. And, certainly, it was necessary to explain business with the false passport. On trialа was spent three months. While have sent inquiry in Tbilisi while have received the answer.

ааааааааа When all was found out,policemen laughed a lot andа did not begin to raise an affair about a forgery. They gave him freedom.

аааа The businessman hardly has come to the senses, has returned to Tbilisi and, the first, what he has made he has taken children with the wife to his house. Thenа heа went to thisа woman who didа the false pasportа for him and asked: "Tell me, what Iа have done such badа for you that you gave me this surname? " But this woman could not understand, why she has chosen this surname. "

ааааааааа How can I know, when what criminal from prisons will escape? "sheа said.

аа And I think, - said Lidia. - God have punished him.There is nothing to leave the wife with children.

 

аааааааа 12.02.2000.

а

аааа

ааааааа The law of punishment.

11 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction: 12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth

Proverbs chapter 3

 

а To meet spiritually competent person presently it is the big rarity. And if such meeting will take place and a personа will talk- here only to listen and listen.

аThe chorister, the high, plump woman,аа about 60а years sits opposite to me. Her face is typical for an average strip of Russia, she has an affable smile, radiantly brown eyes.

аI knowа about her very little. I know only, that all life she hasа carried out in churches, worked at a factory earlier, now lives on who that will submit her some money in the street. With a sick leg she goes from Rustavi to Tbilisi only to stay on service, to sing in chorus. She sings, certainly, free-of-charge, "as a hobby". She spends the night frequently where it is necessary.

The first, that especially draws to her it always good, complacent mood.

She is dressed in all black, she has precise in hands.

- Are youа a nun? - I want to satisfy my curiosity.

- No, of courceа -а she waves her hand and she is smiling, - I am guilty. I only lived and worked at a monastery, and that was short, It was necessary to arrive here...

- Tell me about yourself...

- And to tell there is especially nothing... All my life has gone wrong because I in due time аhave not obeyed one priest.

Thenа I was young. I went to church frequently, though at that time - post-war very few people went there. My girlfriends ran on dances, and I sat at home. Motherа said to me:"You must goаа there!". And I answered: ╗ Well, what shall I doа there? ╗ Mother, certainly was very worry: ╗ So you will not be married".Iа answered her: л I shall be a nun ╗. I said simplyа and God, it is visible, has written down at this word.

And 3 girlsа have goneа from our city to Pochaev monastery to perspicaciousа father Joseph. ( then only four young girls from all Nikolaevа went to all worship services ). I was not with them I worked at a factory at that time. At a meeting father Joseph has told: ╗ Look here, do not marry. Nowа there is such time, that marriages not from the God.а Your husbandsа will not be supporters, theyа will sit on your neck. And children now are born not in pleasure, but asа a punishment. ╗

These girls have come back home and by his advice have not married, and I have soon agreed to a marriage. And till now I repent.

- But he has not told these words to you personally.

- It is visible it was addressed also to me. God through someone has transferred. You remember, in life of Saint Feodosiy Caucasian is described a case about three girls?... Three girls came to him in a monastery.They were three ten years' girls wanted to live as nuns. And he has accepted them. And for other morning there their parents have arrived to take away them home.а Father Feodosiy speaks them: ╗ Do not take away them.а god choseа your daughters!╗ Two mothers have obeyed and have left the daughters in a monastery, and the third mother has taken her daughter away home. Then she has grown and has married the drunkard as allegoricallyа father Feodosiy predicted to her . So mother has spoiled a life to her child.The same I did. I have married, and my husband did not let me in church, beat me because of it. It was necessary to me to divorce. I did it with many difficulties

аI have missedа my children because of these constantа scandals. Bothа of my sons drink ...

Oh, what disobedience means...

Our conversation, I do not remember howа has gone about our responsibility for sins of ancestors.

- Let usа take me for example, - said аRaisa, - my Grandfather was deacon. All know, howа our priests аsometimes sin,like money orа gluttony, - she speaks without any condemnation and describes cross with her hand. - My God, wilа be mercy аto us guilty. It is visible, and my grandfather, (Let him live in the Kingdom of heavens), too, probably, did not doа something well. What exactly, I do not know, only there was an accidentа with him. For the Christening heа was going with religious procession on our village, has slipped, has fallen and has broken hisа right leg. Then аwas notа any good medecins and heа suffered with terrible pains. He has reached despair and has decided to finishа himself.а It was miracle, during last moment he has been got from a loop.

аIt would be better to suffer that God has appointed to himа but he has not sustained, In fact God does not give heavy cross if a human can not carry it. Thenа my grandfatherа died. But, it is visible, it was insufficiently cleared through illnessа during his life or grumbled. And consequently to us, his descendants it was necessary to complete. There passes any time and my father breaks his right leg at the same place.а Then my turn has come. I go on road and I hear internally the Angel speaks to me: ╗ Be carefull, now you will breakа your leg." I have not paid attention. I went on going forward. Then I have fallen and saw that my leg was broken. There passes still some time and my younger son (he is responsible for my family, and the senior son is responsible for a family of my husband) falls and breaks the right leg too. My wound still now does not heal. The trophic ulcer was formed.

Well, what is it? Concurrence?

To find out, dig in the reasons - it is useless. It is necessary to bear only,а what God sends us.

However, it is so everywhere. The believer, faithless, the Buddhist or a moslem - all equally answer for thier sins.

Recentlyа my neighbour, the assyrian has been killed inа the fight. Somebody hitаа his headа with an axe or a knife. There was a widow with children.

On funeral the case of bygone days has emerged. It appears, in 30th yearsа his father was the security officer. He has somehow gone to arrest someone. The arrested person has rushed to run. And though the security officer could catch easily him ( his horse ran faster than the pedestrian), he has shot to him at a head and killed for attempt to run away. The killedа man had a wife with children.. And after 60 years all the same happened with his son who had to expiate martyr death a sin of hisа father..а Saint fathers speak, martyr death clearsа many sins....

So we talked for a long time.а Someа of her words causedа my smile by the naivety, or can be, lack of education.

аааааааа Though it is not important. As father Zakhariy has toldа to one nun, regretting about her noneducated: ╗ Godа does not needа scientists,only love is necessary for Him.

аааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааа The second part

.... Strange, butа it is the fact, punishment for this or that bad, is visible better than the requital for somethingа kind.

аOne day I had got the book л Church. Hospital. The patient ╗ what was written by Filimonov and I have gone to show it to one of my familiar.

а She began to read it at once.

Look! -а she admires, -а it is exact about myа neigbour, - and she isа reading to me - ла Symptoms of spiritual disease: a unconscious condition during worship. ╗.

- And who is this neigbour?

It is a whole history. Her child was born very sick. Till 9 years she carriedа her daughter on hands because the girl could not move independently.а The doctors have made some difficult operations in Moscow. The girl has recovered. Doctors spoke - " It is a miracle." Now this girl is already married andа she has her ownа child though according to the initial diagnosis about it it was impossible even to dream about it

Imagine, what good fortune has this family?!I wander, certainly, why.

My neigbour perfectly feels it, but till this day she remains out of church. On service she falls in faints. It is necessary to show her the book - maybe she will be taught somehow.

аNana called to her neighbour and soonл not church person ╗а was sittngа with us in the kitchen. In the beginning our guest listened without comments, and then she began to speak.

- Am not I the faithless person? Do not I love the God?а Iа light candles, and where I shall seeа a poor old woman,а I always give her some money. My parents were such persons too. We were four children in our family. So they have adopted two boys evacuated from Russia, during the war.

- Spiritually widely-read mistress said - To bring up the orphan,а it is the same, to construct a church.

аHer neigbour continued, - they have put these guys on legs, gave them education. Both boys have left then again to Russia... Somehow,а when we already were all adults, one of them, Kolyaа from Kiev, calls and speaks: ╗ Mum, I am dying. ╗ And mumа shouts in a tube in Georgian to him: ╗ Come, my sonny, here we shall cure you! ╗. Kolya has arrived, moved hardly, he was likeа a skeleton. My mum has worked all life as a nurse, so she took hom to her hospital. Soon Kolya recovered. Mum did not depart from him,she fed him from the spoon though she was already elderly.

When Kolya was going toа Kiev he spoke: л You, mum have presented me the second life. ╗...

You speak that to be rescued it is possible only in church. My mother did not go to church, she onlyа lit candles to st.George. Then was such time.а Probably my mumwas saint,а she did so much goodа things to people.

She has died silently. She worked up to the last. We tried to do the best, sheа stopped us: ╗ Do not prevent me.╗ I see, she looks somewhere afar, smiles ла How well there is!╗ -а she speaks. Thenа she has sighed and died.

The neigbour has broken off, having gone deep into memoirs. My familiar has returned to the interrupted theme of necessity to go to church.Her neighbour has soon said goodbye and has gone toа herself.

-а It isа a heavy case, - sighs Nana closing a door, - I can not overpersuadeа her...

Whether it is necessary, I think. O.A.Elchaninov wrote about it:

л There are people of wonderful, paradise type, with soul before fall, simple and direct, alien to any lie and rage. And it not as result of any struggle againstа themselves - such they are born - people without a sin. And it is strange, that constantly these people stand outside of Church, even sometimes theyа absolutely do without religion. They are too simple to speak about God andа they are too simple and chaste to put into the feelings any words or signs (ceremony). In religion the most importantа is not belief only it isа love to the God. They love the God, because they love Beauty, Kindly, True - and all this elements of the Deity. How many there are people asserting that they believers, andа but they are not having this feeling of Beauty, Kindness, maliciously and a sin in soul, with full indifference to Trueа because it is quite replaced one and a half dozen small trues for which they ambitiously keep. And those - the simple and true souls living and on the ground in pleasure, - after death, I am confident, directly go to the Empire of Light and Pleasure as л similar always aspires to similar, ╗ and in a society saints - simple and blessed souls - they feel like, as in the native elements. We, so-called "believers", speak: I "shall go", but we don"t go, and they in fact do not speak л I shall not go ╗, they simply execute will of the Father ╗.

 

аааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааааа 10.08. 2001

аааа

 

THE LETTER FROM THE OFFICE OF HEAVEN.

7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

Matthew chapter 7

 

аThere is a table with the simple snack, a burning candle on the middle. Five persons at the table for a meal of 9-th day. After the first traditional toasts someone asks to tell more in detail about human life,а who has already gone to eternity. And, what we hear Е

- Е My mum becameа an orphan, when she wasа 2,5 years. My grandfather, her father, wanted to chop all icons in an attack of fury. Mum told, that we had big ancient icons covered with silver. A little from them mum managed to rescue. She, three-year baby, began to move them onа the coast of the river and to lower in water. Thenа sheа stood and looked, how they were carried away slowly with current. Soon my grandfather has took a new woman, his lover. The stepmother began to demand:

л Take away your children. Put them where you want. ╗ And once at night mum was woken by the cat, wildly having mewed and having scratched her a hand. Having woken up, she has cried to the brother: ╗ Kolya,а weа must run, dad wants to cut us. ╗ My Grandfather from unexpectedness has dropped an axe which has been already brought above hisа sleeping children. Children have escaped. That is why mum so loved cats. Because the cat rescued her life.

After any time my grandfather has cutаа this woman with an axe аfor change andа he has gone and surrendered to the police. Heа has been condemned for 12 years and have sent to Siberia. Mum with the brotherа were absolutely alone.

аNow even it is terrible to me to present, howа she, 4 years child, was going barefoot on the snow and collected an alms in Georgeti (It isа a small village in Georgia). It is visible, it was necessary too. Despite of the severe childhood and a youth, mum was the rare cheerful person, neverа desponded alsoа did not allow us to be in bad mood,а she spoke: л Never mind, God will not leave us. ╗

Then mumа has been takenа to live one woman though alsoа she herself lived in misery Е Then mum was adopted by one Georgian family. I till nowа pray for аthese people, as my grandfather and my grandmother. They, certainly, for a long time are not present. They gave her their surname and have sent to study in technical school.

Soonа her uncle has come fromа the front theа andа took my mum to Tbilisi, to study in technical school at textyle factory.а Attitudesа with herа uncle's, wife have developed difficult and she had to goа to a hostel for living.

God conducted and preserved her invisibly, as well as every orphan. Somehowа in one minute of despair, in 19 years, she has begged: ╗ My God, if you are, give me happiness! ╗

аAnd He has come to the same night to her in dream andа told л Correct your sins then you will receive happiness. ╗

Having woken up, the first, that she has made, has thrown cards in theа stove. (Up to thatа time she guessed perfectly). Alsoа she has gone to church.а She began to pray.

There isа a big ancient icon "Smolenskaya"а in church of.st Alexandr Nevsky. Mum prayed before it that the Virgin suited her life. Soon she has got acquainted with my father. thenа they have got married. My daddy, only having got demobilize,а arranged at the same textyle factoryа as the pupil of the master, there, where mum already worked as a spinner. She has worked atа the factoryа 40 years. Who knows this trade, will understand, what it means. It were post-war years. It was difficult for all, and my parents especially since they had to begin all with zero. At first theyа ate on a window sill, slept on a floor. Here there was a new problem. During 3 years theyа had not children. Before the same icon mum begged for the child. Alsoа sheа hasа seen a dream. As ifа one old man white long priest"s clothes isа knocking to us in hostel door (apartment where there were 4 roomsа and in every lived one family) ааand calls mum:

л Here isа the letter from an office of heaven to you ╗- and gives her a sheet of paper.

But I understand nothing, - mum answers.

а"It willа be read on the second floorа for you"- answeredа the old man and disappeared.

And mum sees, how from the sky the star falls her in hands.

Having woken up, mum has reflected and recollected аthat on theа second floor of our hostel lives one nun with her daughter. Mum hasа gone to them to get an explanation. The nun has listened to all this and said:-it means, that your pray is heard. Soon you will have a child. Maybe it will be a girl.

And it was the truth, soon I was born, the storyteller smiles. - And who was this old manа mum has found outа when God has called me for belief and allа our family began to go to church Somehow on an icon she has learned this old man. It was st. Serafim Sarovsky. We lived very poorly. We had not even bread enough. From my childhood I remember macaroni and apples which we basically ate. But mum never complained. One dayа a priest knocked at the door . All 4 mistresses have left because allа were interested: To whomа he came?

аAnd he looks at mum and says:- I came to you.

Mum, certainly, has invited him to enter. He says:-Give me a slice of bread and a glass of water.

Mum has gotа only 200 gramme bread - one-day norm. The priest began to pray,а thenа he told: ╗а You always will have bread╗. And he went away. When she has run out a trace, to thank him and askааа why he has gone to us, our visitor already was not anywhere.Itа was found out, that nobody saw him. Telling this case, mum always cried: ╗ Whoа was he?а Whyа has he dissappeared? Maybe God has visited me? ╗ Soon after that events fatner"s friends - pilots have been movedа to Vaziani (military airport) and they often came to us.а They gave us their food. Somehow gradually the equipment too was adjusted. Whenа I was 12 years my parents have got married in church. Theyа collectedа money for rings all for these years. Both of them wanted to accept this sacrament very much. Mum was extremely loveful and wise person.а I do not remember, that she has responded about someone badly. Even being paralysed, all of you saw, how she was pleased to all of you and as resignedly carried a cross of illness. To her it was open, that the illness - for sins of the father.

Let Lord give her eternal rest.

Let mummy ifа sheа can do it, will pray for all of us that and we would have same love to people and resignation to carry the cross.

- Amen.- said all guests, who wasаа listening to this story.

.26.08.1999

а

а

THE LETTER to BBC.

32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.

Matthew chapter 22а

 

- Е I have one request to you - my familiar Helen says me somehow - From time to time I visit one old woman. She is 94 years. She is very interesting and at the same time difficult person. She is countess, has 3 higher educations., the doctor and the philologist simultaneously. She has passed war, she was married 3 times. She was fond of the Buddhism. Now she has again returned to Orthodoxy. I tell youа so in detail that it was clear with whom you deal. Now at the end of a life she has remained completely one. 10 years ago she has lost sight. Besides itа she has still very rare and painful disease - something like a cancer of a skin.

The body is covered with an armour of absolutely dry integument. At the slightest movement the armour bursts up to blood. You can present yourself,а how she suffer with pains. And soа whatа is myа request. She recently listened to any programm by radio BBC and wants to write to them the letter. It is necessary to write down what she will tell.

And soа weа happened in an old Tbilisi court yard. My guide pushes not locked door on a ground floor. She comes, naming herself. In the room there is the very old furniture, boardа unpainted floors . In a corner behind a curtainа there is a bucket as a toilet. Everywhere there is a thick layer of a dust.The small oldа woman who responds to a greeting is sitting at the table, turns on a sound and looks at usа with her unseeing eyes. Inа her manner of conversation, avaricious movements some internal force is felt. She speaks distinctly, precisely, precisely formulatingа her ideas. After acquaintance, conversations about her health, we remain alone and we pass to the reason of my visit.

- Е the Unique pleasure, that remained me - it isа the radio,- says Maria Gordeevna.-а Early I loved booksа very much and I hadа a fine library which I collected all life. But, feeling approach of blindness, I have given all away ,- and without a shadow of a regretа she explains,- I will go away very soonа but memory of meа will remain. And somehow I listened to BBC. They discussed a question: "whether there is a life after death ", andа they came to a conclusion, thatа it is not. But I precisely know, that the soul is immortal also that world exists. Here is one of some examples.а I was 5 years when suddenly spots have appeared аon my face. I have taken the father's razor and already was going to cut them off as I was stopped in time by mum. The same night I see aа dream. As if the old man has come to me in a dark cassock. He wasа st.Nikolay ( I knew him well as his iconа was hungа above myа bed). Andа heа asks me so strict: ╗а What haveа you decided ? ╗ Then speaks: л Follow me. ╗ We have left on a glade behind our house.

He has showed me a place where any rare grass with sharp leaflets grew and has told in detail how to dry up, how to cook, etc. Then he added: ╗аа Put this liquidа on your face andа spots аwill not be other day. ╗ I have woken up and have told dream to mum. She has doubted at first, but whenа we saw exact on this place that rare grass asа has been specified me in dream,а mum has been shocked.

Or still a case which was having place personally with me. In 20th years my uncle Silvestr has died from a typhus. Somehow, going to church, I have prepared beforehandа the piece of paper -а a list for dead relatives to submit on worship. All relatives hasа been written down, butа I have overlooked Silvestr.а The same night my uncle also dreams me and reproachfully speaks me: ╗ Why you have overlooked to write down me? In fact every memory in church is very important for us. ╗

Е Iа have little time to be with you here. I shall leave to you the list of people who is especially dear to me. They, certainly, already for a long time are not present. I ask you, submit these of a note withа prosfora (1) onceа in a year. In fact there is absolutely nobody to pray for them.

Еа As long as Iа live, I am more and more convinced of correctness of Evangelical trues . There, for example, it is told: ╗ the Hand giving does not becomeа empty╗. I even in such position share that I have and always I notice, as far as it is true.а Some people fromа a social security have brought to meа 3 eggs for Easter. I have given two of them to myа neighbours though nobodyа lives worse than I in thisа yard. Someone has unexpectedly came to me and has brought 5 eggs. I have given 3 again, etc. Though I am completely lonely,а but God does not leave me. And I have not neither a regret, nor a grumble about my present condition. In fact it to me is predetermined. Therefore I am very quiet.

Recentlyа oneа caseа hasа happened with me. My neigbour - a drunk woman looks after me here. I have written down donative on this room for her name.а One day I have rebuked her, and sheа was drunk and has rushed toа me. Even during such moment I did not have fear. I khew , that I shall not die now. Only has appealed: ╗ Relieve me of her, My God ╗ and she has left me.

I know, God hears me. And badly it happensа to someone who will offend. One year agoа one neighbourа says to me:-When will you die? I wantа to eat аshiloplav (2)а on your funeral". Halfа of year has not passedа and heа ateа shiloplav аonа his own mother"s funeral whoа was 20 years younger than I. It happens and on the contrary. Once a month comes to me one young guy - baptist. He brings to me products, helps me how he can. And though I do not accept his religious views but whenа he has been called on the Abkhazian war, I prayed for him very much. Andа he was rescued by miracle. Thenа he came to me to thank for prayers.

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Maria Gordeevna told me a lot of interestingа during our meetings. Some details were already erased fromа my memory, and what I remembered -а it was poured out on a paper with delay.

The letterа toа BBC has been sent, but whether it has been recieved - is not known. After a month after our acquaintance countess has silently died. At last meetings she persistently repeated:-It is necessary to ask God beforehandаа peaceful painless, death. It is a pity, that the person understands it too late. Herа leaving was the superfluous proof her stories that that life after death really exists. We three together who came herа have decided to read Psalms about her during first 40 days.а After 20 days this occupation to seemed to me empty and unnecessary.

- It is silly thing.- said I to Helen.

You will soon see, thatа you areа mistaken -а answered she.

The same night Iа sawа a blind countess on an invalid armchair in my dream.а She was in darkness, only her face wasа in light.

Readа Psalms-asks sheа me for.

а+ + +а

The glory to you, My God - has told the initiator of reading Psalms, having heard aboutа my dream.-I asked, that someone from us has learnedа about herа there. She came to you to disseminateаа your doubts and to strengthen in belief. As if to the dream, it is uneasy to explain it. Darkness - it that she now accompanied by angels examines horrors of a hell. An invalid carriage which was not actually an attribute of that her place of stay is not solved yet, she is not free yet and cannot moveа herself. And the request aboutа Psalms means that Godа hears our common prays.

аIt was happened in 1994у.

It is written down 5.12. 1999у.

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